Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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