You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
