final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
