You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
smell my finger.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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