Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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