I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
