I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the day after is always just damage control
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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