there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
