You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
