I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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