I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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