; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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