I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
