she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
