I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
