Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
