she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
