i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
