Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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