We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
