I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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