is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
