She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
