This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
