Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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