2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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