she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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