weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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