I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
