I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You need a sexual gate keeper
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
