He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
