guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
