So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my sisters under your porch take her home
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
