bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
