Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Randomize
