I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
