I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
