Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
