I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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