Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
