why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
