carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's blow job season.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
