Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Randomize
