Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
