glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
