when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
