well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
