Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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