Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
