They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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