i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Alive.
So much puke
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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