He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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