True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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