Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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