I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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