This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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