You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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