hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
