It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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