I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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