I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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